Enemy Territory: Quake Wars Console Review - 12/06/2008

If any of you out there were hoping for a substitute for UT3 or Resistance you'll be very disappointed to know that Quake Wars is the biggest let down since Paula Radcliffe squatted down by the side of the road at the London Marathon to take a sh*t.

Going about reviewing Quake Wars I was looking very forward to the prospect, but then I started playing the game and quite frankly I was depressed. Call of Duty 4 was constantly staring me in the face whilst I was playing Quake Wars saying 'Play me instead, you know I'm better and more enjoyable' and like Adam and Eve on sex pills I gave in to the devilish charm of COD.

So what does Quake Wars offer? Well, not much, but lets not write the game off completely! You start the game very optimistic with a Star Wars-esque introductory cut scene that explains the story of how the Strogg and many other vile and mutated creatures wanted to come to your planet and consume your head or something like that. The animation for this scene is delivered exquisitely and the woman narrating this video has an incredibly sexy voice. Things are looking bright. From this you are sent straight to the main menu and have the option of single and multiplayer modes (also LAN play, but we're not too bothered about that right now.) As I wanted to get used to the controls and style of the game and not get munched by a dude from Illinois masturbating over a bag of cheesy puffs, I went for the single player option. However, I soon realised that it wasn't a story mode, but indeed just objectives that you could complete on different maps. A tad dejected I picked an African map on a campaign mode (don't be fooled this doesn't mean story mode.) I was still a bit confused with the selection process on the menu and what meant what, but I proceeded to play one of the missions. I started by floating through the air on a parachute and landing ready for action...but oh wait what the hell have I got to do and who are these people that I'm working with?

The graphics are disappointing, but at least the parachuting is fun.

They don't even introduce the characters you're working with; the people you are going into battle with and depending on; you don't have a clue who they are. This random guy (no name comes up to tell you whose speaking; no one's there with you when your land; they're half a mile away constructing a bridge or something, could be God for all I know) mumbles to pace it over to where your other teammates (who you don't even know) are fixing a bridge. However, even this took me a while because the radar is more confusing than NASA technology; when I did get there we get ambushed by Strogg who you have to defeat, which is not very challenging at all. Despite all these disappointments, one thing that caught my eye is that you can choose what kind of military man you have. For example, you can choose medics, engineers, soldiers, field ops etc. which ties in well as different people in the military and the jobs they do, i.e. engineers fix vehicles. Obviously this means they also have different weapons, which is a great bonus for when you want to lash out a sniper for example. Selecting these soldiers can be accessed easily through the 'select' or 'back' button.

The game has a wide variety of maps, but none of them are actually that interesting; I feel UT3 also suffered with this problem. The loading times to set up these tedious maps are also equal to the length of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which is not a good combination. The landscape graphics that are on offer are far from spectacular, as are the close ups of the characters; in fact, you almost never see your characters' faces: soldiers or extra terrestrials, which is a real annoyance. I found much pleasure in witnessing the fine moustache of Captain Price in COD.....mhmmnn did I actually say that? However, being scared out of your wits by the abominable faces of these aliens is what makes a lot of these games wonderfully terrifying. Resistance and Bioshock are great examples. Quake Wars fails to provide this. Nothing scares you in this game, apart from the realisation that you've lost one hour of your life playing it.

Team-based combat is always fun too, or so we thought.

Multiplayer! Now this should be something to look forward to right; with the game mainly being situated and marketed on the multiplayer option. Well, you would be wrong. The game uses most of the same mundane maps seen in the single player and the different game modes really are lacklustre. To top it off that guy from Illinois with his cheesy puffs will also be there, however there will be a million of him. Every single time I went online I did not hear one British person on the headset. Not one single great British piece of abuse was being hurled around anywhere. Despite the online mode having leader boards the ranking system overall is quite poor and the option of perks and other bonuses are extremely limited. Compared to other online shooters this ranks very low indeed.

Overall, this game is pretty appalling; you just don't feel connected to the game in anyway and there are hardly any real plusses to take away from the game. Enemy Territory: Quake Wars is a major disappointment.

You can also read our feature on the future of online console FPS games here.

- Ryan Cherrington


Great introductory cut scene for animation and woman with sexy voice.


Ability to switch between different sections of the military.


Boring maps complicated by incredibly long loading times.


Lack of advice on what to do in missions and no introduction to characters.


Hopeful online a big disappointment.


Final Score:
Simply disappointing.



id, Splash Damage
PS3 - 360 - PC